Understanding Human Behaviour Through the Lens of Pain and Pleasure
Human beings are, at our core, creatures of emotion. We navigate our lives propelled by an ancient, deep-rooted drive: to move away from any immediate pain and toward immediate pleasure. The immediate is massively important as we will avoid the pain of exercise as it’s something we will face now, even though it will move us towards potential pain in the future. This simple yet profound principle, articulated by philosophers as early as Epicurus and proven by modern neuroscience, underpins a vast array of our decisions, habits, and behaviours. Yet, it is precisely this natural inclination that often renders change so bewilderingly difficult.
The Roots of Pain and Pleasure
To understand why we are drawn to pleasure and repelled by pain, we must look to our biology. The human brain is hardwired for survival, and over millennia, it has evolved to favour behaviours that ensure our continued existence and well-being. Pain signals danger—be it physical, emotional, or psychological—while pleasure signals safety, nourishment, or reward. These signals are not just abstract concepts; they are coded into our nervous system, mediated by neurotransmitters like dopamine, endorphins, and cortisol.
We are simply not evolved to live in the world that we do, yet.
For our ancestors, this system was well suited. A sharp pang of hunger (pain) sent them seeking food (pleasure); the threat of a predator (pain) drove them to safety (pleasure). In modern life, however, the threats and rewards have become more complex and nuanced. While the mechanisms remain unchanged, the stakes have evolved: we may avoid the discomfort of a difficult conversation or gravitate toward the fleeting pleasure of a social media notification.
The Difficulty of Change
Change, even when clearly what we need, even what we want, is inherently uncomfortable. It disrupts the familiar and exposes us to uncertainty—a form of psychological pain so we are likely to move away from it not towards it. Think about a person trying to adopt a healthier lifestyle. The initial stages are often marked by discomfort: sore muscles, cravings for unhealthy food, or the anxiety of what people in the gym might think of you. The brain interprets these signals as threats and nudges us back toward comfort, toward the familiar pleasures that require less effort and risk and the pleasure of those crisps on the sofa.
Add to this that our habits form neural pathways—well-trodden roads in the brain that are reinforced each time we act in a certain way. Changing behaviour requires forging new pathways, which is both mentally and emotionally taxing, in other words pain. The immediate discomfort of change often outweighs the distant, abstract rewards that might come from persistence. As a result, we are prone to revert to old patterns, not out of weakness or lack of willpower, but because our brains are designed to seek comfort and minimise perceived danger.
Pleasure, Pain, and the Paradox of Progress
This evolutionary trait creates a paradox: the very system that once ensured our survival now resists our efforts to grow. The pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain are not inherently negative; they are essential aspects of being human. The challenge lies in recognising when these instincts serve us and when they are getting in the way of what we want to achieve.
To be able to get lasting change, we must consciously recalibrate our relationship to discomfort. This involves reframing pain as a signal of growth rather than danger, this is why body builders have the mantra “no pain no gain” and we need to reframe finding pleasure in the pursuit of long-term goals. It is a process of retraining the mind, cultivating awareness, and accepting that the path to lasting change is paved with both discomfort and reward.
Accept it will be difficult, accept it will require a lot of effort, and understand this is why having big goals that are important enough to drive us is how we find the internal power to make progress.
Our aversion to pain and attraction to pleasure explains much about why we find change difficult. Understanding this does not make change easy, but it empowers us to approach transformation with empathy, patience, and the knowledge that if its uncomfortable we are probably moving in the right direction.
By Andy Walter
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