First let’s be clear, everyone no matter how successful sometimes feels stuck. It’s like being in a car that’s run out of fuel. We want to move forward, yet something holds us back.
There are always reasons for this, and they are nearly always rooted in our psychology, in how we perceive the world and in what is currently motivating us to act the way that we do.
There are a number of things that drive human beings, Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs is a good place to start showing how humans go from the need for air food and water to the need for self-actualisation, what that doesn’t explain is why when some people have the basic needs for survival and safety dealt with that the never progress any further and just get stuck in a loop between staying alive and the higher levels of Maslow’s pyramid.
That is where understanding human motivations and drives are helpful, there are 6 main areas of motivation, Certainty, Uncertainty (or variety), Significance, Connection (or Love), Growth and Contribution. These are fairly self-explanatory, what is not is that although all humans are driven by all of these, most of us have two current dominating motivations, that we adopt to reach a goal, for example meeting our need for safety and if 3 are involved we will crave that outcome and it becomes an addiction.
So, the reason we get stuck is we continue to sub consciously be driven by motivations that no longer serve us, not because we don’t know how to change but because we don’t know that we need to change because this has served us well to get us to where we are.
For example, let’s say you have built a safe and secure life with a business that gives you security and to get there your driving needs were certainty and significance, yet now you are bored, and frustrated and want to set new goals and grow and yet seem to be stuck in a loop.
To grow you are going to need to take some risks, and that mean uncertainty which is in direct competition with your current motivation, it also means that you could take a hit to your significance by getting something wrong which would take embracing personal growth which is not a current motivator.
Subconsciously your brain is keeping you motivated to stay where you are which is why you feel stuck in a loop.
Understanding how this works for you helps us identify why we feel stuck and how to move forward. By focusing on meeting these needs in positive ways, we can break free from stagnation and lead more fulfilling lives.
This is an area I spend a lot of time working with clients on, what is it that is holding them back from doubling their business and what is the story they are telling themselves about why they don’t want to do it, because that is what it is, just a story you are telling yourself.
If you are feeling stuck reach out and let’s talk about your story.
Andy Walter
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